Anxiety!

Three days left until we load up the family and head to Lubbock. We have decided to take the kids swimming Thursday evening at the hotel in Lubbock before Gigi (Cody's Mom) picks them up for the weekend. After the kids are off to Gigi's, Cody and I will hopefully have a somewhat peacefull evening. Then, Friday is the day. I expect we will be going to the hospital early Friday morning for the admission process and to get prepped for surgery. If you have not figured it out yet, I will be having my double mastectomy and expander type reconstruction this Friday, March the 12th.

We are at peace with this decision and truly feel that it is for the best to go ahead with the procedure sooner than later. My biggest problem thus far is that I enjoy being in control of maintaining our home. I do not always enjoy all of my chores daily, but overall I would not want anyone else doing them. Even though I like being in control I also have to be realistic. I have arranged for a housekeeper for a little while, and have tried to do my best in instructing Cody as to how I do things. Once again though, lets be realistic Cody will probably do things his way. Depending on others is definietly not my strong suite. Another lesson from God.

My sister, Katie, has been so generous as to give me the ins and outs of what to expect with surgery. She has given me detailed lists for: what to bring to the hospital, what to expect immediatly after surgery, her timeline as far as recovery, and she is even letting me borrow her pillow for the ride home. I think my mind is a bit more at ease beacause I know that I can go to her with any of my questions.

I have purchased 6 books that I hope I will be able to immerse myself into during my recovery. They are all about BRCA mutations and breast cancer. Hopefully I will gain a plethora of knowledge, and will be able to add more to my list of topics already scribbled into my notebook for my blog. Thus far I have enjoyed so very much being able to share the knowledge I am gaining thru this process with all of you.

I am hoping to be able to post some updates, or have Cody post some after my surgery. If I am not able to share everything on my blog immediately, I will be journaling about it and intend to share with you soon. Until then, please keep me, my family, and my doctors in your prayers.