Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Life Breast Cancer has handed me.

Fifteen years ago breast cancer changed my life forever, and I didn't even know it. Nine years ago it altered my whole world. Losing my Mom did not just affect me it rotated Earth's axis and set it to spinning in a different direction. And now in 2010, breast cancer has once again pushed not only me, but my entire family in different directions. So how do you deal with this?

I have not ever been one that is a roller coaster fanatic so lets say that each one of these events has landed me on a different roller coaster. The first was not so bad, it definitely put me out of my comfort zone but it was bearable. We were able to quickly mark that experience off of my list and move on. The second encounter was the worst imaginable: forward, backward, feet hanging out there and free-falling like a crazy person. It makes my stomach turn just thinking about it.

This second experience was torture though, it was worse than the first from every angle. Emotional, physical, and intellectually this event in my life was forever changing who I was. That was not the worst of it though. Over the next few years after my Mom passed away, I would continually revisit the same roller coaster. Why? I think I can answer that question now.

God allows us to have good and bad times in our lives. During the good times we can easily say that "God is good," and not question our faith or his greatness. On the other hand though, He also allows us to encounter bad times. It is during these bad times that our faith and trust in God truly grows. I believe that during this time in my life I was continually taking the wrong approach toward God and allowing myself to travel down the wrong path. Don't get me wrong here, I never hated God or turned away from my faith in Him. My actions and my mindset were not that which would please Him. I would take my anger and aggression out on those that I loved. I didn't physically harm anyone, but I was quick to say hurtful things. My self esteem was down the drain, and I did not care about the relationships that really meant the most to me. God allowed me to continually revisit my roller coaster as a reminder that things were not right yet. It was a constant reminder that I was not Happy, and that something needed to change. As a human, I repeatedly tried to fix myself.

It took me a few years to really come to grasps with what had happened and figure out that the only person who was against me was ME. People who were coming into my life for the first time were encountering a person that was not truly me. I forever set in stone their perspective of who I was as a person, but more importantly as a Christian. One thing that I have learned from all of this is how important first impressions are. I am continually trying to repair what damage I put forth in those years in other peoples minds, but I am also having to prove in my mind that I am and can be the Christian I want to be. Sometimes it is easier to convince other people than it is yourself. I am fortunate enough to serve a very forgiving God, and even if I don't always believe in myself whole-heartedly I know that God believes in me.

My most recent visit from breast cancer has been the easiest. I am no longer afraid or apprehensive about the roller coaster I am on. God is right beside me. He will be afraid for me, which allows me to close my eyes and throw up my arms and enjoy the ride. I can ask as many questions as I want, be frustrated with the information I find and am given, and at the end of my day rest my head easily on my pillow and sleep. God is in control. He has picked my surgeons, doctors, nurses, anesthesiologist, hospitals, and insurance companies. He has perfectly planned my road to recovery and the timing of each step. All I have to do is pray and ask for his guidance.

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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I think, maybe?

I think that I have made a decision? Monday was another fill day, and another day of me asking questions for the entire 20 minutes while being filled. We discussed further the subject of how much bigger I want the girls to be. I knew when going in Monday that I wanted to be a little bigger, but I was not sure how much bigger. The nurse and I discussed the fact that my current "snow balls" would look different when they were replaced by implants.

Since I had already looked at as many pictures as I could find on the Internet I knew that my current expanded breasts would look much different when they are exchanged for implants. As we have discussed before there are many factors that will contribute: profile, saline or silicone fill, textured or smooth, and shaped or round implants. It is not time just yet to make the decisions about all of those. That will come a little later closer to implant exchange time. Hopefully that will occur about 6-8 weeks from now. Now is the time to decided if I want an additional 50cc added to each breast on a weekly basis. I have been considering this decision very seriously each week.

I have tried to get input on this matter to help me make the most informed decision possible. Cody of course is one of the most important opinions, but I also have a really good fried who works in the clothing industry who has given me a great deal of input. I have been able to unload on her all of my questions about bras. From how you take proper measurements to what really looks proportionate. It is very important to me not stand out like a sore thumb but look natural and pleasing to the eye. This mother of two does not really want people to look at me and say, "those are implants." Even with this in mind I have to be realistic. The girls are not real, and they never will be again. So I can, under the mask of clothing, look completely natural and achieve my goal of not calling attention to myself. On the other hand though, when bathing suit season comes around I don't believe I will be fooling anyone.

Back to the point! Cody and I mutually agree that we like the look of the girls this week. Next Monday I will be going back to get an additional 50cc on both sides. We feel like we need to go just slightly larger than our ultimate goal in order for the more relaxed and spread out implants to have the gusto that my expander's currently have. I am so excited that we are so close to having the expansion process behind us. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that Cody and I both agree on this decision. I have immersed myself in research and opinion seeking to ensure that we are happy about our decision. After a few days of living with this weeks expansion we both feel confident in our decision! Whew!!

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Friday, April 23, 2010


I have decided to start looking into a few of the other aspects involved in the prevention process. Back in February I talked about Ooporectomy which is the removal of the ovaries. It is considered to be an important part of preventing breast and ovarian cancer in women who have the BRCA mutations. While important, ooporectomy brings about a whole other thought process. If I remove my ovaries at 28what repercussion will I face? The onset of surgical menopause comes about immediately after the ovaries are taken from the body, so more specifically what are the side effects of surgical menopause?

Today, I would like to discuss osteoporosis. We have all heard about this diseases, but do we know what causes it or what we can do to prevent it? One of the major side effects of surgical menopause is loss of bone density. Over time the loss of our bone mass can result in osteoporosis.

During our lifetimes we have a large quantity of years devoted to building our bone mass. In women specifically our bone mass continues to increase up until around our 30th birthday. During the time period of 0-30 years of age our bone mass increases faster than that of our bone loss. I am nearly 29, and this is the first I have heard or at least absorbed this information. My years of increasing my bone mass are all but up, so what do I do now? In most women, after the age of 30 you will begin the process of slowly loosing your bone mass. That is until you enter menopause. Once a woman enters menopause the slowly turns to rapid deterioration of our bones. This is bad news for women overall. With this little tid-bit of information it is not surprising that so many women end up with osteoporosis.

Here is my next question. How many women out there these days have a hysterectomy years before they would normally go through menopause? Ok you are not completely signing yourself up for osteoporosis many women can take hormone replacement therapy (HRT) to help with the rapid bone loss. So what are we losing by removing our ovaries that is vital to maintaining our bone mass? Estrogen, a hormone that helps prevent bone loss. You yank out the ovaries and you take the main estrogen producer out of our bodies. Like I said above, many women can take hormone replacement therapy to help with this but not all women can. This is a very important detail for carriers of the BRCA mutations. Why? Well, there are some types of breast cancer that have rapidly growing tumors when estrogen is present in our bodies. My mothers and Katie's tumors were both estrogen positive. As long as, their ovaries were in tact their cancer tumors had a chance of more rapid growth. This is also important when considering ovarian cancer. Studies have shown that some women who were taken estrogen as HRT after menopause had a higher overall risk of developing ovarian cancer. Those of us with a BRCA mutation are at high risk for both breast and ovarian cancer, therefore it is highly recommended for us to have our ovaries removed. This also means that once the ovaries are removed there will not be any estrogen put back into our bodies.

Back to osteoporosis though. I am 28 today, in July I will turn 29 so what can I do now to help myself knowing that I will be having a oophorectomy or hysterectomy before too much longer. Cody and I visited with a Gynecological Oncologist at the end of February. We asked alot of questions: from his recommendations to what will I be facing if we do go forward? Osteoporosis came up and he made me feel that my risk is manageable if I choose to be proactive. What does this mean? I need to start now, not after the procedure. My next move was research. I had a doctors recommendations, but what did the world wide web have to say. We have all heard of the next company and I found their website very informative. Boniva is of course trying to sell their product, but they are very informative about what osteoporosis is. "Porous bones," I don't want them so at 28 I am going to be proactive.

Step 1: Am I getting enough calcium?
The above website has the following recommendations for
"How much calcium do you need?"
Children from ages 1 to 10 - 800mg daily
Teenagers - 1200 - 1500mg daily
Women 25 - 50 - 1000mg daily before menopause and 1500mg after surgical or premature menopause
Women over 50 - 1500mg if not taking estrogen, 1000mg if taking estrogen

So lets ask ourselves, are we getting enough calcium in our daily diets? I'm not, and probably haven't been for some time. Especially since 28 months out of the last five years I have been pregnant or nursing and requiring an additional 400mg per day. That's not all though, we cannot just go out and buy a single 1000mg calcium supplement to take once a day. Our bodies can only absorb 500mg of calcium at one time, so we must take two or more supplements at different times throughout our day. Next we must be very specific in what supplement we choose. Not all supplements are equal. We need calcium carbonate, and on top of that research now states that we need vitamin D3 in our supplement to allow for absorption of our calcium. Uugh, ready to scream yet?

Ok, so we have faced our calcium shortage woes, but there is still more work to be done. I would rather not spend the rest of my life with a pill box in tow. Ready for another question. What can I do to reduce my chances of another pill? Exercise, specifically weight bearing exercise. This does not mean weight lifting. Walking, low-impact aerobics and others are recommended.

Step 2: Exercise

I love taking the kids for walks but is an occasional walk really going to make an impact. The gym would be extremely beneficial, I'll be honest though it is not convenient and there may be weeks that it does not happen. What to do, what to do? Enlist someone to keep you accountable, and who better than the person I live and share my life with. An elliptical will be part of our home soon, not just for me but for him too. He will know if I have met my quota for the week, and he can also distract the kids long enough for me to get my workout in. Our plan is in the beginning stages, but we will be doing it for each other.

Step 3: Keeping an eye on things

Either before, or immediately after the hysterectomy I will be undergoing a bone density scan. My doctors and I will be monitoring my progress. As long as, I am able to reasonably maintain my bone mass I will be able to avoid the pill. At some point in time there may come a day that the pill is necessary, but my goal is to put it off as long as possible.

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Monday, April 19, 2010

Decisions, decisions...

Well, I believe I have done a somewhat adequate job of flooding you with information on breast implants. Who would have thought I would be able to come up with three complete blogs worth of information. I am sure I could have elaborated more, but there is a point that it just becomes monotonous and boring. I guess the next thing to do is tell you about some of the questions that I have.

Today is Monday, April 19th, I should have just completed my third fill, but Taylor was sick with a stomach bug all night. Therefore, after waking up from the bulk of last nights sleep at 9:30 this morning I called and rescheduled today's appointment for next Monday. I cannot say that I am all that disappointed, the weekly drive to Lubbock is becoming a bit longer each time. Also, if I end up with Taylor's stomach bug I would much rather not be sore from an expansion while hugging the porcelain thrown. So lets talk about the questions I am asking myself, and the thoughts going through my constantly thinking mind.

At last Monday's appointment I asked several questions. The easy one was, "How long after the expansion process is complete can we exchange my expander for implants?" Easy question, easy answer. We will have to wait six weeks after the final expansion before we can do the exchange. The next question was easy to ask and answer, but brings about a whole new list of questions. "Do I have to fully expand my 550cc expander?" NO. So here is my next question, "How big do I want to be?"

The black sheep in the room, "How big is too big, and how small is too small?" If you can give me an answer to this question that you feel completely certain about you may be in for a reward. I, personally, am clueless. There are so many factors to consider it makes my head feel like I am the girl from the Poltergeist movie. What are the factors? The one that seems the easiest and hardest right now is what my breasts look like right now after two expansions. Today I have a total of 300cc of saline in each of my breasts. They are very perky, hard as rocks, look a bit unnatural, and well they stick straight out. Remember though, these are expanders not implants. With that in mind, I have looked through so many pictures of before, during expansion, and after implant pictures. I would say that about 85% of the expansion photos closely resemble what I am experiencing. That puts my mind at ease a bit. Then we get to look at the after implant photos and they look very appealing, YEAH!! There is a considerable difference between my hard as rocks unnatural expanders and the soft curvy implants. One of the most prominent differences I have observed is that the expanders are compact and do not spread out like a natural breast does. It just sits somewhat like a snowball cake on your chest. The implant on the other hand has a much more natural flow. It's softer shell allows it to spread out and more closely resemble a woman's breast.

Alright, in my mind I have a coconut coated snowball cake in one hand and a water balloon in the other. The water balloon moves when my hand moves, and flexes when it is squeezed or pressure is applied. The cake on the other hand when you move it remains stationary. Instead of squeezing the cake I will just tell you that the expander is rock hard. This analogy is more about shape though. The cake and the water balloon are the exact same volume, but as we learned in physical science shape depends on the container. So my snowball cakes are a tighter fixed size, and the water balloons flex and can change shape somewhat. My point here is that while I think my expanders are starting to look quite large when replaced with the same volume implants they will most likely not look as full.

The question, unfortunately, has not been answered yet. The one thing I believe I have learned by the above rantings is that I am probably going to end up being a little larger that I would be comfortable with overall in order to reach a size I will be happy with in the end. YIKES :(

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Implants - Part 3

As if there were not enough choices already... Today we are going to talk about profiles and pre-filled vs. adjustable implants.

Most of the implants available come in either 2 or 3 different profiles. The Mentor company offers the largest variety I have see thus far. I found the following link to be very helpful and descriptive.

Profile in the sense of breast implants refers to the amount of projection from the chest wall. The higher the profile the more your breasts will stick out. I had always thought that the amount of filling was the main factor to having breasts that projected out well. There are a few other factors that you need to take into account besides just how far they stick out from your chest. High profile breast implants are also narrower at the base than moderate. Because of this high profile implants are better suited to women that have narrow chests. The lesson here is that just because you want them to be large does not mean you necessarily need a high profile.

In the above picture we can see the different profiles side by side. From left to right we have the Memory Gel Moderate, Moderate Plus, and High Profile implants. The moderate profile has a wider base than the other two, and less overall projection from the chest. Each subsequent implant has a narrower base and a higher outward projection. All three profiles are offered in Memory Gel and Smooth Round implants from the Mentor Company. They also offer a textured round implant in the moderate profile.

Mentor also offers contoured implants. Contoured implants resemble a teardrop shape. This shape is considered to more closely resemble the mature breast. The best description I can offer is that some women's breast tissue can reach up close to our collar bones. We do not realize this because the higher tissue is much thinner. If you place two fingers about an inch below your collar bone and run them down towards your breast you can feel the texture of your underlying tissue change. As you get closer to your nipple the tissue becomes fuller and takes on the shape of a protruding breast. The contoured implants have more of this natural shape than the round implants. These shaped implants are only offered in saline with moderate and high profiles.

Pre-filled vs. Adjustable
The next thing to consider in my mind are the options available in pre-filled and adjustable implants. Pre-filled implants are filled with either saline or silicone at the manufacturer and come sealed to your surgeon. These cannot be adjusted at the time of surgery or anytime after. So what you choose is what you get. For some women this simplifies their decision. Silicone implants all come pre-filled from the manufacturer, so if your choose silicone this is your only option in this section.
There are many options for saline implants. You can always choose a pre-filled set volume saline implant, or you can go for an adjustable. Adjustable implants are empty at the time of surgery, therefore; they require a smaller incision to insert. This is important if you are just considering breast augmentation. In the case of breast reconstruction we already have an incision from our first surgery to remove our breast tissue. Incision size in this case is a mute point. Once the implant is placed it is filled with a pre-determined volume that you and your surgeon decided upon. After surgery the volume can be increased or decreased within reason. Once you are happy with your implants the tube attached to the port under your arm will be pulled out an the implant will seal itself. The adjustable implants are available in smooth round, textured round, and contoured.

The examples I gave today are all from the website listed above. There are slight variations offered by different manufactures that I listed on my first implants blog. I would encourage you to look at all of them.

In the next several days I will start revealing some of the questions I have been asking. I will also let you know that I am considering and why. My most controversial question to come is, How big is too big, or not big enough? This is a decision that I am going to have to live with for a very long time. My thoughts are I need to get it right the first time! Until next time, God Bless!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Implants - Part 2

What have I learned so far? Lets start from the outside and work our way in.

The outer shell
I would be willing to bet that the majority of you out there did not know this next piece of information. The outer shell of a breast implant is made of silicone. So whether you choose saline filled or silicone filled you are still getting a container made from silicone. Thats not all though, you can also choose a smooth shell or a textured shell. The smooth is to be as expected a completely flawless rubbery casing that will contain your flavor of choice. I would love to be able to give you a personal description of the textured, but I have yet to touch or feel one myself. From what I have read these implants have a rougher feel to them. The purpose of the textured implant is to help with capsular contractions. Each of our bodies have reactions to foreign material when it is place inside of us. Capsular contraction is when the scar tissue that forms around the implant tightens and squeezes it. In some studies it has been found that textured implants reduce the possibility of this happening.  If a capsular contraction occurs the breast implant is typically removed and replaced.  Not too many options to choose from here.

The Filling
Silicone vs. Saline?  Lets start with saline implants.  Salt water is already a large component of the human body so it is a very logical choice to fill a container that will be placed inside of us.  Breast implants do not last forever, so it is easy to assume that a rupture may occur at some point in time.  When the implant ruptures it will be much like a water balloon deflating.  When the fluid leaves the silicone shell it is easily absorbed by our bodies without any problems.  If rupture does occur surgery will be necessary to remove the silicone shell and insert a new implant.  Overall, having saline implants poses very little risk.  So why would someone choose silicone over saline. 

The breasts we are born with are very soft and ply able.  I like to use the idea of a hug to give you a picture.  When someone approaches a woman and gives her a hug her breasts typically compress and give way to the body to body pressure.  The sense of feeling overall is very soft.  When a woman post mastectomy with saline implants gives a hug there is very little compression and softness due to a lack of natural breast tissue and fat.  Therefore, it can feel a bit like you are hugging a couple of grapefruits attached to a chest.  This hard and unnatural feeling is commonly associated with saline implants in women post mastectomy.  The post mastectomy is very important here.  Women who are choosing saline implants for breast augmentation will most likely not experience this exact same outcome because they still have natural breast tissue on top of the implant.  Over the years this unnatural feeling has been reduced by placing the implants under the pectoral muscles and the use of overfilling techniques.

Silicone implants have come a long way in the last several years.  In the beginning, many women believed that their ruptured silicone implants had caused health issues for them.  The FDA  decided to take silicone implants off the market until studies had been completed regarding these issues.  During that time many improvements were made and we now have a newer and improved silicone breast implant available.  When a silicone implant ruptured liquid silicone would ooze out and enter our bodies, and it was thought that this foreign silicone was the cause of many health problems in the women with implants.  Many implant manufacturers have moved away from the liquid silicone to a more cohesive gel.  The new implants can literally be cut in half and held upside down without any leakage of material.  The new cohesive silicone gel holds together very well.  If the outer shell is ruptured the implant can become deformed, and left unattended long enough can even break apart.  The days of silicone liquid migrating to other areas of the body are behind us though. 

The major benefit of the cohesive silicone gel is that it much more closely mimics the natural feel of breast tissue.  Think about a gel stress ball.  When you squeeze it the ball gives and flexes in other directions.  So when you are given a hug your breasts have a little more give and are not as noticeable.

Ultimately, the choice is yours.  My recommendation is ask to touch and feel the types of implants yourself.  You know who you are and what you will be comfortable with.  My second suggestion would be to include your spouse in the decision making process.  You make not be completely sure as to what your favorite choice is, but he may have some very good input for you.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Implants? - Part 1

I think I will start out today with, WOW!  If the choice were only silicone or saline it would be easy, or maybe easier.  This week I have started my research on implants.  From flipping thru the pamphlet at the plastic surgeons office I knew there would be several choices, but I was astonished at how many are available.  In the end, I believe your plastic surgeon will help in the final decision as to which implants will be best suited for you.  My intent is to give you as much information as I can, and hopefully teach both of us something we did not know.

Lets start out with breast implant manufacturers.  I did a google search and came up with the following list. 
Mentor Corp. -
Allergan -
Sientra, Inc. -
Eurosilicone S.A.S -
Nagor -
From the above websites I found the most information from the Mentor Corp. and Allergan; these two where by far the best in informing their consumers in my opinion.  A great deal of the information is very similar, but they both do a good job in getting the point across.  The Sientra website is mostly pictures.  They did have a details sheet attached, but I felt like I needed a doctor by my side to interpret.  From looking at the Eurosilicone S.A.S website I believe they are FDA approved for use in the United States.  In 2009, Nagor was in pre-market approval to be sold in the US.  My list also produced two other companies.  Poly Implant Prosthese, which I found has been red-flagged by the British counterpart to the FDA.  On March 31, the MHRA advised surgeons not to use this companies implants.  The other company mentioned was Cloverleaf Medical.  Their site sent me directly to the MHRA website as well, but I was unable to find any other information.  So I will leave it up to you to look into things further on these websites.

There are so many aspects of breast implants to discuss.  My plan is to break it down over several posts and give you as much information as I can.  Over the next couple of weeks I will do my best to give you all of the information I have come across.  I am also hoping to stir up some questions in my own mind to ask my doctor.  If you have any input, or come up with a question you think we should ask please let me know. 

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Phase 2 of Expander Reconstruction

Yesterday Cody and I loaded up our crew and made the lingering drive down I-27 to Lubbock.  Our goal was to leave by 9am and take the kids straight to Gigi's house just south of Lubbock.  Overall, we did very well, and made it to Gigi's before lunch.  She had lunch ready for the kids and Pappy so we did not stay long.  The two of us headed off to town for lunch and to make a quick stop at Little Foot Prints.  (I have yet to find a good kids shoe store in Amarillo, so this is a usual stop for us.)  Tummy's full, shoes purchased, and we were off to the plastic surgeons office for a check-up.

We have officially begun phase 2 of reconstruction.  My stitches were removed, and 50cc's of saline were injected into each of my expanders.  I thought it would be nice to let all of you in on my experience.  As a whole it was extremely uneventful.  By this point I have very little modesty left.  Each and every time we go to see any of my doctors I am instructed to take the top half of my clothing off and put on a timeless hospital paper vest shaped smock.  This little contraption is literally a one-size fits all paper vest.  Very attractive, my favorite part is that the bottom of the vest hits at about the waistband of my jeans.  Regardless of how much the vest covers or does not cover modesty is still out the window.  As soon as the doctor or technician comes in its time to open up and take a look.  I was encouraged to hear that everything was looking great, and yes I would still be sore for quite a while longer. 

Procedure time, first on the agenda was removing the stitches!!  Lets just say that since the surgery I have very little sensation or feeling.  I can feel pressure, but not much else.  I was not able to see exactly what was happening, but the nurse made a few clips and pulled out one long string looking stitch.  When the nurse first started pulling there was a little bit of pressure, but it quickly went away when the stitch pulled loose and freely came out.  Both sides were completed in a minute or two. 

Fill time.  The second part of my day was increasing the volume of fluid in my temporary expanders.  To do this the nurse used a contraption that was held above the expander.  It had a moveable pointer that rotated on the end of a plastic handle.  When it was held above my skin in the area of the port it would rotate somewhat like a compass to find the exact location of the injection port.  They knew the approximate location of the port placement from surgery, but there are times when the expanders can move after surgery.  The pointer would wiggle around until pointing straight down when it was directly above the port.  After locating the port, pressure was applied to the pointer on my skin to leave an indention.  I did not feel the pointer at all, just the pressure that was applied.  My skin was cleaned, and we were on to the injection.  I was told to look away or close my eyes while they inserted the needle into the indention.  I did not feel the needle going in at all.  They said that they ask for you to look away because some people flinch if they watch the needle going in, and this can cause them to miss the port.  Once the needle was in place they started pressing the 50cc of saline into my expanders.  If any of you have ever wanted instant gratification this is it.  You could literally see my breasts getting larger.  While the last 10-20cc were going in I started to feel pressure.  My expanders had taken on enough extra fluid to start stretching my chest muscles again. 

Around 7:30pm we finally made it home to Amarillo.  I slowly lowered myself out of Cody's pick-up, after 2 hours of riding my body was stiff and my chest was sore.  We got the kids off to bed, took a few ibuprofen, and went to bed.  This morning I was once again sore, a few more ibuprofen and a great deal of movement later I am feeling pretty good this afternoon.  I think by tomorrow around lunch I will be back to where I was Monday before my fill.  All in all, a very minor set back in my recuperation. 

For the next five weeks we will be making a weekly trip to Lubbock to add saline to my expanders.  The goal is to reach 550cc in each of my expanders; today I am at 300cc.  I am still a little worried about what I will look like with 550cc breasts, but I do have the option of saying I don't want to be any larger at any point in time.  After we reach the desired size or 550cc we will begin preparing for Phase 3.  Phase 3 of reconstruction is an outpatient surgery to trade my expanders for permanent implants.  So, it looks like we have 6 weeks to discuss and decide on saline or silicone implants.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

It's time to reveal...

Over the past few days I have started envisioning a picture that I believe will be taken soon.  It is a little bitter sweet thinking about it, but "It's for a good cause" can probably take the edge off a bit.  I can see it now in my mind, Katie and I sitting together smiling for the camera.  In my mind though, Katie has little or no hair and my blonde highlighted curls are still crazy and poofed like I want them.  Katie with no hair, its no longer in my imagination it has become a quick reality.  Last night Ronnie, Katie's husband, oiled up the shears and went to town.   

It's so familiar, but something I thought we would never have to be a part of again.  I remember vividly the day Mom finally decided to shave her head.  The night before she had let me cut her long hair into a bob, first thing the next morning we went to Lubbock.  After a day of shopping and Mom's hair trailing her in the wind she was ready for a shaved head.  I believe it was embarrassing for Mom that day in Lubbock.  There is no way in my mind to understand what Katie is going thru right now. 

Back to the picture!  Katie and I have been asked to be part of something very special.  We are going to be able to educate, encourage, and give hope to so many people out there!  In the coming weeks Katie and I are going to be interviewed for an article about breast cancer, genetic testing, and all the other things involved.  What an amazing opportunity.  Think about the impact of two sisters dealing with breast cancer in two totally different ways.  Not only sisters, but one 31 and the other 28.  I know that God is using us, and I pray that we are up for the challenge. 

Please be thinking about both of us, and I will keep you updated as things progress with the article!